The ESPN Phone

You've seen the ads all over the place, and today it hit me that this service is aimed directly and almost exclusively at fantasy sports players. Your average hardcore fan won't be on his cellphone waiting to see what happened in real time, he'll either be a) at home, watching or b) he can wait until he gets home to watch it on TIVO or see the highlights on Sportscenter.

So this is all for the fantasy geeks, which brings me to the nut of my rant here today.

I hate fantasy everything. It's ridiculous and it makes people think and talk like they know the sport as well as the people that play it. YOU DON'T. YOU SUCK.

Play a videogame for Christ's sake, but stop subjecting bystanders to these idiotic conversations:

"Damn! I didn't start Buehrle today!"

"Yes! Mussina got the win!" "But you hate the Yankees." (Cheeky smile) "I know, but he's on my fantasy team..."