Monday, April 23, 2007

Bee Season—Review

Who's in it? Richard Gere and Juliette Binoche.
What's the deal? Gere is a religion professor who takes his work home with him and blabs on and on about God and Kabbalism to his family. The son is fed up with it once he falls for a blond hottie that seduces him into what I call Krishna school. The daughter, meanwhile (the only likable character in the whole movie), is winning spelling bees left and right, but no one cares at first.
Do I detect some negativity? Yeah. I don't like Gere, and he's a real dick in this movie.
How does the girl spell words she's never even heard of before? She closes her eyes and in what is a nifty little effect, the word comes to life, cluing her in on how it's spelled.
Is that cheating? Not sure what the bee rules are on mystic powers but I'm pretty sure it's not allowed or at least discouraged. But who cares, without the girl this movie is just awful. And it still is, actually.
Why it's still awful: There's nothing to it. Nothing happens. At the end the characters play it off like some huge catharsis has gone down. And you're looking for the explanation and there is none. And Gere is in it, remember.
What to tell anyone considering renting it: She throws the national bee at the end to "save" her family. There, you've ruined it for them and they won't go see it now. Then say "You're welcome."
Another sign this movie sucks: Juliette Binoche is very blah in it.
Don't forget: Richard Gere is in it.


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